I forgot.

I can't believe it. I seriously forgot.
I forgot to tell my mother about that lump under my arm.
Genius.
Pure, unmedicated, genius.

Also, my younger sister and I went to the mall with my re-reconciled friend.
Oh hurraaaah!
It was humorous.
They bought shit, I didn't.

We went to look at DVD's (on sale) and there sat "Love Actually." I've never seen it, but my little sis was all "There's 'Love Actually.' and my friend was all "Oh, that's an okay movie." and I said "Wait, isn't that the one with Keira Knightly in it?" and my friend was all "Yeah." and I was all "OMG I LUUURVE KEIRA KNIGHTLY!! DDDDD:"
And she, like, spun on me and said "Whaaaat?!" and I said "Yeah, I love her!" and she said "But, eww! No!" and I (trying to make myself sound less stupid for liking her, because that's how my friend is [which was one of the reasons I stopped talking to her], she makes you feel guilty and stupid for liking something she doesn't. She makes you question your own views like that) so I said "Well, not necessarily all of her movie roles, but her as a person." And I should have kept it at that, but no, I had to add on "And Pride and Prejudice. I loooove that movie soooo much!"
Mistake.
I should have sensed the mistake before I even opened my mouth.

She spun again and rasped "What?! But that movie's so BAD. It's AWFUL! The original, well not the ORIGINAL original, but the one with Colin Firth is THE only version that's worth anything. Gah! We shouldn't even be talking about this!"
As though I was beyond retarded for even thinking the 2006 version was "worth anything."
She then spun around and sort of stomped off to look at the "2 for $20" dvds.

It hurt.
And she's talking to me on MSN right now.
I'm digitally fake grinning through it.

It's like before. Already.
I feel like I'm not allowed to like the things I like, do the things I do. We went looking for music, I was just browsing for She Wants Revenge (I already have their music, I was just browsing for kicks) while my little sister looked for something in particular. My friend asked me what I was looking for, I said "Oh, some stuff. Nothing in particular. Just...stuff."
Like before: I'm too much of a chicken to tell her what music I'm listening to because I'm afraid I'll displease her or something.
Anyone want to go to the She Wants Revenge concert here, in Toronto, with me in October? 'Cause there's no one to ask, and I've never been to a concert before and I'm to chicken to ask her for fear that she'll make me feel like I'm stupid for even mentioning their name.
Genius.


I have absolutely no backbone.
Mom actually told me, last week, when she dropped me off: "Don't her control everything." and I said "Ya, well Omi (grandmother) has a way of getting her way." and mom said "Well, yes, Omi, but [my friend] too. Don't let her take over." because, of the (maybe) 2 reasons I was willing to tell my mother as to why I wasn't talking to the girl, one of them was that, even though she's a year younger than me, and sometimes acts like a 3 year old, she treats me like I'm below her. Like I'm shit on the road. She always has. And, I think, she's starting again.
I don't think she realizes this, but it still hurts. And I won't say anything because I'm a chicken.