Dancing in my Room

If anyone's out there listening: I don't think I can do this again.
Not more packing mayhem.
Not more wondering if I brought everything I need down, only to realize as my mom drives away (again) that I forgot one tiny thing.
Not months of The German Wonder.
Not months of essays, essays, and always more essays.
Not classes full of unknowns who don't want to be known.
Not more of the same rushing around in order to fool everyone into thinking I have it all under control. That I'm ready to graduate in the spring. That I know what I'm doing.

I'm not ready. I have no idea what I'm doing.
I just know that I'm exhausted already but I don't want to, can't, must not go to bed.
But I have to sleep. I move again tomorrow.

I can't do this again.