Dancing in my Room

You’re taking me on a roller coaster,
a whirlwind of emotional drama.
Feeling unfeeling feelings
and left wondering why it hurts.
Pulling hair like pulling teeth
and papers fall prey to tearing fingers.
Unnoticed hurt and angry frustration
but so confused as to why it hurts.
I promised myself I wouldn’t,
that I have no reason, no excuse for lamentations.
I live a wanted life, I have no excuses.
So then why do I tear my hair
and pound my fists, red and throbbing, against the desk,
and pull at my face with fingers
and drag things across skin,
why does it hurt?